وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا۟ مَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ ۚ لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌۭ مِّمَّا ٱكْتَسَبُوا۟ ۖ وَلِلنِّسَآءِ نَصِيبٌۭ مِّمَّا ٱكْتَسَبْنَ ۚ وَسْـَٔلُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مِن فَضْلِهِۦٓ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمًۭا ٣٢
And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.
Here’s a hard truth to begin with. This life is not fair, at least from our lowly human perspective. As we witness the people around us, we notice that;
Some are born as princes and princesses, living a lavish lifestyle, and treated as royalty, while some are born into hardship and get treated as slaves.
Some are gifted in their intelligence and social skills while others struggle to improve themselves.
Some achieve their success through the help of ‘cable‘ with little effort, while some experience failure over and over again, even questioning whether he would ever succeed in life.
And sometimes, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.
Is this fair? Of course not. Cuz life isn’t about fair. It’s about passing the test, remember?
ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ ٱلْمَوْتَ وَٱلْحَيَوٰةَ لِيَبْلُوَكُمْ أَيُّكُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًۭا ۚ وَهُوَ ٱلْعَزِيزُ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٢
[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving –
Yet in this age of social media, it’s kinda hard to not look and start comparing our lives with others. As others post and show off their expensive 5-star meal, their 3rd-holiday vacation of the year (oversea lagi tu), their brand new BYD or Honda Civic and their romantic and sweet life as a couple, we begin to wonder and questioned whether “How is this all fair!?”
All of this eventually leads us to believe the horrible and unfortunate lives we now live in, as we are now consume by envy and jealousy towards others.
“How come they have it, while I don’t”
No. Stop it!
وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا۟ مَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ
And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others.
Stop comparing your life with others. It’s called YOUR LIFE for a reason. We have our own unique and distinct life, different from others, with our own God-given blessing, which we may or may not realize.
Sure, some people are blessed with the richness of wealth and fame, but who knows, deep down, they might have a depressing and lonely life. Sure, some couple looks cute act even romantically in social media. But who knows, it might just be a façade, hiding the true nature of their resentful and dissatisfied relationship.
While we might not have that kind of luxurious life, at least we are blessed with the little things that make our lives beautiful and meaningful. That could be a loving family, children that adore you, a job that you are passionate of, or the leisure time you could spend with your loved ones. Those little things matter. And it might be worth more than any other worldly possession that you so-called jealous of.
So stop letting yourself fall into the devil’s trap, the path of comparison and wishing for what others have, which is a stepping stone for kufr (ungrateful) and hasd (dengki). Appreciate what we have and what was given, especially in the little things. Cuz, despite how little and insignificant it might seem, there is always someone out there who yearns for it.
“But what I really need something that others have?”
Allah responded by telling us,
وَسْـَٔلُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مِن فَضْلِهِۦٓ ۗ
“And ask Allah of his bounty”
Ask Allah SWT directly. Cuz He’s the owner of all things that we desire. And also, He loves it when we ask,
The Prophet SAW said: “There is nothing more honorable with Allah [Most High] than supplication.” (Riwayat Tirmizi, 3370)
And whether He chose to give or withhold from us, that’s His to decide. Cuz at the end of the day,
إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمًۭا
Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.
He knows what’s best for us.
Sometimes we forget that with every blessing, comes a new trial. And with every trial, some people might succeed, while others failed. Some are given abundance of wealth, yet instead of becoming like Uthman Bin Affan or Abd Rahman Bin Auf, they became Qarun. Some are given power and status, yet instead of becoming Zulqarnain or Yusuf AS, they became the Pharoah. Thus, Allah SWT might not give us what we want, not out of hatred or to cause us suffering. Rather He knows whether we are ready to bear the burden, simultaneously saving us from the evil that we might become.
And regardless of whether our Doa is granted or not, by Allah’s Rahmah, He still rewards us.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“There is not a man who calls upon Allah with a supplication, except that he is answered. Either it shall be granted to him in the world, or reserved for him in the Hereafter, or, his sins shall be expiated for it according to the extent that he supplicated – as long as he does not supplicate for some sin, or for the severing of the ties of kinship, and he does not become hasty.” They said: “O Messenger of Allah, and how would he be hasty?” He said: “He says: ‘I called upon my Lord, but He did not answer me.’” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3604d)
He gives, not what we want, but what we need.